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Desert Sage
SageWalk Alumni Newsletter
February 11, 2008 Issue 2 Volumes 1
In this Issue:
- Letter From the Editor
- Circle of Elders Reunion 2008
- Returning Elders Program
- Life After SageWalk
- Tips from Graduates
- Tips from Parents
Dear Alumni Families,
With the release of the second edition of the SageWalk newsletter, all of our best wishes go out to the families that have allowed us to be part of their process, and we hope that this newsletter supports the continuation of growth beyond SageWalk. It has been a truly enjoyable and inspiring process to edit these articles, and I trust that you will also find wisdom, hope and inspiration in these pages. A great big thank you to all of the contributing authors; we had a great response to our ‘call for news’, and split the articles between two issues. If you didn’t see your submission in the first newsletter you will find it here. If you are interested in contributing to the next issue, please send your submissions to jcrawford@sagewalk.com.
Enjoy!
Jenna Crawford
AKA Otter Flower
Just an early reminder that the 3rd Annual SageWalk Family Reunion trip is fast approaching. Last years trip was action packed with tons of fun and we’re looking forward to another great time this season. With the combination of rafting on the beautiful Umpqua River, great people, good food, and fun activities, it is sure to be a relaxing and inspiring adventure.
This trip is provided for SageWalk graduates and families looking to spend some quality time together and reconnect with other SageWalk alumni. Once again this year’s river trip will be catered and guided by the fantastic crew at Ouzel Outfitters. Spaces are limited so be sure to mark your calendars for June 26th -29th, 2008. Applications are now available and registration began on Feb. 1, 2008. For more information and to request an application, please contact Lion at slawson@sagewalk.com. Hope to see you there!
Redhawk, Lion, & Otter
SageWalk is proud to introduce an exciting opportunity for Alumni Elders to return to SageWalk as peer mentors. This will provide an avenue for graduates to support current students while gaining valuable experience and growth themselves. The SageWalk Elder program is open to alumni students who are 18 or older, and who have a history of demonstrating assertiveness, confidence, motivation, care and responsibility. The desire to return to SageWalk as a Peer Mentor must be initiated by the former student themselves, rather than a parent or guardian, and the application process includes a drug test, letter of recommendation from someone other than a family member, and a background check. In many ways the process of applying for this program is similar to that of potential staff members, and this experience can be used in the future on applications for jobs and universities. Length of stay is approximately 3 to 5 days. There is no charge for this opportunity, although participants will be responsible for travel expenses and providing their own gear.
If you are interested in requesting an application, please contact PJ Swan; pswan@sagewalk.com.
The Journey Home
I don't think I need to go into what life was like before SageWalk. I have talked to many parents and all of our stories leading up to that decision to send our children to this program are very similar. I would like to share my post SageWalk story.
It all began on March 30th, 2007. I had spent 2 months away from my 14 year old son, a much needed respite! I had released my son to work his own program and get the help he so desperately needed and that I could not give him. I was given a chance to work my own program and heal. I read my "Love and Logic" book over and over. I highlighted it, took notes, and practiced on my 11 year old back at home. I remember feeling like,” I’m never going to get this down". I had my weekly sessions with my sons’ counselor and did everything he asked me to do. I wrote the letters and worked in the workbook. As the initial shock of my decision wore off, I started self care like never before. I walked with a group of very supportive women almost everyday. I ate better, slept better, and was able to give some much needed attention to my daughter who was lost in the family while we were imploding. I remember the day I was given the news that my son was ready to come home. My first reaction was, “Are you sure?"
We had exchanged many letters over the last two months and even though I sensed he had changed, I was scared!
What has become apparent in the last 8 months is that the work doesn't stop when you get home! We had a great "honeymoon" period. We shared stories and reacquainted and we were all on our best behavior, however, the honeymoon does end. It has never returned to how it was before this program but there have been difficult times and I have had to realize that it is very easy to slip back into old routines and habits, and that our children aren't the only ones that have to change, we as parents do too. It is a constant process and my advice would be to stay as connected to SageWalk as you can! The aftercare phone calls, the e-mails, the reunion, the parent phone calls and other parents are your lifeline! The techniques really work and it still amazes me when I try one and I get the results I was going for! I still practice self care and even though it is uncomfortable sometimes, because I feel selfish, I know it makes me a better mom and my kids know this too. I still walk with my women friends, make sure I get enough rest, schedule time away for "me" time, eat well and I have added yoga to my self-care routine! In a nutshell, what I am trying to say is that everyone has do the work and everyone has to change and when it feels uncomfortable, stay strong, get support and forge ahead because this does work and anything is possible. Thank you SageWalk, you have truly impacted this family in more ways than you'll ever know and we are forever grateful.
Kim Madison, mother of
Golden Eagle Reflecting Dawn
Tips and Stories from Graduates
The Do's and Don'ts
To the SageWalk Alumni:
Do: Go outside whenever you get the chance, and take it all in, all there is to appreciate, the good, the bad, the small, the large. This is where we all hiked, broke down and setup camp, cried, read, wrote, shared, loved, hated, learned, taught, and grew, for the beauty of freedom and the world itself, every last bit of it that we are a part of.
Don't: Jump into things too quick. Steady yourself through the way. Don't take what you have for granted, ever.
Do: Pick your notebook when the need calls, and read it, and take yourself back. It is simply a rush in itself. Tell of your unique stories to others, it was life for us, yet fantasy and unimaginable to most others.
Don't: Sell yourself your short in any area of your life. Speaking for myself, the wilderness is where I found myself, I feel. My strength, creativity, potential, and my love for the life I have, and the huge future it brings. Expect incredible things from yourself, and nobody else.
-Maintain your cool no matter what situations get thrown your way: attitudes are contagious.
-Your kids are not perfect, and never will be. We are still growing up, and messing up.
-Trials and errors are a huge part of it, and the handling of those is far more substantial and of greater importance, more so than the trial and error itself.
- Patience, and love, lots of love, hugs and all.
- Never, never, never, give up!
My own parents have supported me my whole way through, and continue to do so. We gained a clearer understanding, a deeper love and relationship through SageWalk, and with the amazing people we were blessed to come across through SageWalk. Love and respect for one another are the greatest assets to our successes thus far.
I've brought SageWalk home with me, in every part of me. By seeking out the littlest things, the simplest beauty offered, with my attitude of gratitude all around. In the Middle of Oregon, in the middle of a National Forest in the middle of Oregon, all you have to appeal to is nature, and the pull of beauty it has, and the little things you wake up for, and do what you do for. The sunrise's, the sunsets during cook and prep, the sight of a port-o-potty after a 7 mile hike, a batch of wildflowers that brightens up the all around browns, the CLOUDS, the smell of Ponderosa tree bark, clean socks, Gatorade powder, bug spray, homemade spoons and licking the peanut butter off of them, all of the stars and constellations, and so much more. Now I find things every day of my life, getting into a car, mountains, freeways, pictures, songs, the ocean, colors, SHOWERS, waking up to my parents every day from a bed, the smell of home, genuine people, FREEDOM so much freedom and being able to use it in ways that fill a purpose and that brings me to happiness. The things I realized I missed being away were the smallest of small things, and being away gave me gratitude, so much of it. I find content ness in it, and there are many of the little things to discover, more than the “Big's”, and by the “Big's”, I mean the worldly things that the world has to offer, no matter where you’re from. I've brought home the authentic me with pieces put together, and being okay with that me, and respecting me for the genuine, clear, open minded, out of the box thinking, meat on my bones, independent, mature, got a story to tell, me.
My powacha is on a hook hanging above my bed, and my notebooks are in a box I keep around to look back on, along with the beads of my 64 days. My dad treasures all the other belongings I had there, and has made a shadow box out of some, and stores the others.
By Guiding Cassiopeia, Graduated July 2006
Helping Life at Home go Well
It's better to keep the SageWalk "lingo" in the field, even though I admit to STILL dropping the 'watering a bush' line to this day. (A year and a half later)
Tips for siblings of SageWalk graduates:
You shouldn't 'compare camp stories' and complain about your camp being more difficult(when you water-skied, skateboarding, and had DJs’).... Because TRUST ME...... OURS WAS NOT THE SAME KINDA CAMP!
My favorite food at SageWalk was always RNLs. but... I was the WORST at cleaning my mug... so I never, ever made 3 meals to earn spices. Sooo... when I got home... I was so excited I had UNLIMITED spices... and I decided to cook my dad and his friend some doused with just about every spice imaginable. When they were finished cooking... there was probably more spices than RNLs themselves. When I served them with our dinner... I looked into my dad and his friend's cringing faces AND I KNEW they were incredibly disgusted... but they were so nice they told me they were good. I took a bite... and was in love.
SageWalk was such an eye opening experience for me. Something I will NEVER forget as long as I live! You helped me out a lot and still remember things I learned everyday! THANKYOU!!
By Wide-eyed Century
Graduated July 2006
Meeting the Challenges At Home
A tip for Graduates…. Stay home if you have to so you don't hang out with the same old people. Hang out with friends at home.
A tip for siblings...They need to go to SageWalk too. That way I don't have to tell them what they need to learn. They need to change too!
A tip for parents...Try hard to stick to your plan, but be understanding because it’s hard to change.
How I brought Sage Walk home...My powacha & story are on my dresser with 2 pictures of me at SageWalk with friends and staff. One day I was with friends by water. In the woods, everyone was cold and couldn't get a fire started. I started one with a hand drill and they were all wowed.
Story of success or challenge...I graduated from my home school program. (A goal I had set)
I got my braces off. I learned how to react better when I'm mad.
Challenge...I had a hard time when I first came back not hanging out with the same old people.
By Smiling Lion Seeking Truth
Graduated January 2007
1. Try not to over react. If you always do what you've always done you'll always get what you've always gotten.
If you have a chance to experience your kid's life out there (which we did) you will also have the opportunity to see things that happen are not always their fault. Always look at the bigger picture.
2. We haven't done very well here between work etc so we say, Let Go and Just Do It!
3.Smiling Lion was challenged greatly in the spring, he skipped 3 weeks of technical school and lots of little things were going wrong, same old people, same old thing.
We thought he wouldn't finish school. But he graduated home school and has gone back for year 2 in Electrical to be the top student in the class. He has made new friends and has gotten much wiser. We are very proud of his accomplishments!
Joe & Cissy Kuta
Parents of Smiling Lion Seeking Truth
Do’s: Do praise a lot for the small and big accomplishments. Do hug often. Do tell each other that you love each other always, not only by words, but through your actions. Do communicate openly and honestly always. Do resolve conflicts by the end of the day.
Don'ts: Don't overreact. Don't draw to quick conclusions. Don't speculate. Don't sweat the small stuff. Don't bring up the past.
Success: Jandrea has thanked us often for sending her to SageWalk and attributes a lot of her growth and maturity to her experience there. It has truly changed her life. She's a more responsible, compassionate, honest, communicative and loving young adult because of SageWalk. She has also taken an interest in crafty hobbies, journaling, and keeps herself busy in more healthy and productive ways. She has learned how to truly RESPECT herself and her body and has become very health conscious.We, as her parents know that SageWalk truly SAVED HER LIFE!
Challenges: We've fallen into old patterns at times and have had some heated arguments and many disagreements. Jandrea has relapsed a few times and has been around her "old" peer group, but doesn't yearn for their friendship. We, as her parents, have really been trying to pick our battles, this can be challenging at times.
Tips for Self Care: We have found that taking long walks on the beach and talking through our struggles has been very helpful. We stay as active and connected as possible. We lean solely on our Faith in God and trust in His strength every day.
Sincerely,Brad & Teresa Fevold
Parents of Jandrea Fevold, Guiding Cassiopeia,
Graduated July 21, 2006
If you are interested in contributing to future issues or have suggestions for an article, please send your contributions to: jcrawford@sagewalk.com
